The Moosey Fate of Your Favorite IZ people!
by ArlieHasTheBrainWorms
Summary: Watch as the cast of your favorite cartoon meet their doom in a mortifying questionaire/dare...thingy.  I know everyone is doing these things nowadays, I just need to improve my skills with something easy. Rated T for swearing.
1. The First Doomy Chapter

**The Moosey Fate of Your Favorite IZ people, Chapter 1**

A youngish girl with poofyish short red hair and roundish purple  
>glasses is at her computer, typing a hundred miles an hour. That<br>spacey, slightly insane girl with a twisted sense of humor is myself,  
>Arlene, and I am here to help you torture your favorite Invader Zim<br>characters with dares and questions! Seems like a lot of people are  
>doing this, but I need to improve my writing skills. For those of you<br>who are new to questionnaires, what you do is, in your review, you write  
>questions you want a character to answer, or dare you want them to do.<br>I read the reviews and write them doing so! Easy, right? So, have fun  
>driving Zim, Dib, Gaz, and all your other favorites (but not GIR,<br>'cause he's already pretty damn insane. You can still give him dares and questions, though.) into madness! With special guest, your favorite homicidal maniac, Nny!

Nny struggles against his straight jacket. You soon notice, I have put  
>the majority of the characters in straightjackets and tied them to their comfy<br>purple armchairs. They're purple because that's Zim's favorite color!  
>Why are they in straightjackets, you ask? Well, if you're serious about that question, you must not know these characters very well.<p>

Another special guest is my SIR unit OC, Fizz! (I almost brought Happy  
>Noodle Boy, but I think Fizz is enough)<p>

Fizz does nothing.

"Wait, have I been saying this in my head the ENTIRE time?" I say,  
>appalled at my rapidly increasing insanity.<p>

Dib looks at me quizzically "Saying what? Oh, and by the way, GET ME OUT  
>OF THIS STRAIGHTJACKET!"<p>

I laugh maniacally. "INSULENT FOOL BOY! No one can resist the power of  
>the straightjackets of doom!"<p>

Zim's eyes widen, and he momentarily pauses in his struggling, no doubt  
>thinking up a new plan for world domination. "Doom...? YOU WILL TELL<br>ZIM THE POWER OF THESE 'STRAIGHTJACKETS' OF DOOM, FILTHY HYOOMAN!"

Being my insane self, I start giggling madly and say, "You're  
>experiencing their mightiness at this very moment! Wait..." For a mere<br>second, I am silent. But the sweet silent bliss of the characters is  
>short-lived, for I begin EEEEEing at the top of my lungs, glomping Zim<br>so many times it should become tiresome, but it's Zim, so, it's  
>different. "OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SOOOO AWESOME! I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I<br>LOVE YOOOOUUUUU!"Hehe, sorry for going totally fangirl on you. It  
>won't happen too often, I pro-IT'S GIR! Oh, and NNY!<p>

I make my way toward Nny, but almost immediately I come to my senses  
>and realize that glomping Johnny would most likely result in a very<br>painful, violent death. I come to a halt.

That was a smart move, Arlie. The mess would have been unbearable.

The cast jumps in surprise and fear as a Voice fills everyone's head, and it seems to be coming from a  
>hovering stuffed creature made entirely of socks, just chillin' on<br>my shoulder.

Sighing irritably, I begin to speak. "People, this is Con Man, a  
>figment of my imagination that I have come to believe is a<br>personification of both my conscience and OCD. He really pisses me off  
>sometimes."<p>

"So, it's like D-Boy and Mr. Fuck? Only a sock-monster thingy?" Nny  
>asks, tilting his head to the side, the way he does when thoughtful.<p>

"You could say that." I reply. Suddenly, an idea comes to mind that has absolutely NOTHING to do t\with the current conversation. "ZIM! You and I. Duet. Now."

Zim pales to a light pastel green. "Wha-what?'

"A duet, silly! We're gonna sing my new favorite song! Sorry for  
>completely throwing you people into the wrong fandom, but I just love this<br>song! My fellow Harry Pottards are gonna love this song! Not as much as  
>me, though. Zim's lyrics will be underlined, mine will be bold. Con Man will do the little part in the beginning in italics."<p>

_(I never thought you'd be in my life)  
><em>  
><strong>Who would have known that I could like a boy like you<br>Tall dark and Slytherin, what's a girl to do?  
>You used your Nimbus to sweep me off my feet.<br>But now without you by my side I feel incomplete**.

**Slytherin and Gryffindor, parted by the sorting hat  
>From rival houses boy but we don't have to be like that<br>Cause you've Confunded me, and now I'm feeling well  
>Like this is magical, I'm under your spell.<strong>

**I never thought you'd be in my life  
>Two different worlds that we let collide<br>and it will never be the way it was before  
><strong>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor

**Yeah yeah yeah  
>yeah yeah yeah<br>yeah yeah yeah**  
><span>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor<br>  
><span>Walking down a corridor with tricks right up my sleeve<br>bump into this girl that's on my floor, she just wants to see  
>what would it be like to hold hands with someone dark<br>who would have you don't need a wand to start a spark

I'll slither up to you, you can be my lion cub  
>Let's share a butter beer down at Rosmerta's pub<br>I'll chase right after you, you are my golden snitch  
>I'll be your Wizard love, you are my only witch<span>

**I never thought you'd be in my life  
>Two different worlds that we let collide<br>and it will never be the way it was before  
><strong>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor

**Yeah yeah yeah  
>yeah yeah yeah<br>yeah yeah yeah  
><strong>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor

Oh, girl, this isn't like me  
><strong>Two hearts, quickly beating<strong>  
><span>Oh, oh, it's taking hold<span>  
><strong>The whole world is shining red and<strong>  
><span><strong>Gold<strong>

**I never thought you'd be in my life  
>Two different worlds that we let collide<br>and it will never be the way it was before**  
><span>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor<span>

**Yeah yeah yeah  
>yeah yeah yeah<br>yeah yeah yeah**  
><span>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor<br>  
><span><strong>I never thought you'd be in my life<br>Two different worlds that we let collide  
>and it will never be the way it was before<strong>  
><span>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor<span>

Yeah yeah yeah  
>yeah yeah yeah<br>yeah yeah yeah  
>Cause baby I'm a Slytherin and girl you are a Gryffindor<p>

An applause is heard all the way from Miami, where the HP theme park  
>is, or wherever that place is...<p>

Gazing at Zim adoringly, I say matter-of-factly,"Wow, Zim you have a  
>really good voice! You should really-aww, you're blushing!"<p>

"ZIM DOES NO SUCH THING!"

"I LIKE THINGS!"

Everyone turns to stare at the little android with the cyan eyes, who  
>is currently busy playing with alphabet blocks covered in chocolate<br>syrup with Fizz.

"GIR, you don't even know how wrong that may have sounded to perverts, do you?"

"Yes."

" O rly?"

"...no."

I sigh. "That was "Wizard Love" by Meekakitty and heyhihello. Be sure to check out the actual song, the lyrics are only a portion of the awesomeness! So, people, leave you reviews full to the brim with questions and dares, and I will update this story as soon as possible! Oh, and  
>BTW, if people subscribed to Laura's first adventure and Hearing Embers<br>read this, I'm discontinuing LFA (sorry, I just didn't like where it  
>was going) and HE will be on hold for now."<p>

"And I've decided that, as well as q's and d's, you can leave a quote to  
>end this chapter! I'll pick the best one. But I think it should have<br>something to with IZ or JtHM. Like say something said something as vast  
>as 'moose' in their quote. Since moose are mentioned several times in<br>IZ, it would be eligible. Or you could even say a quote from the show  
>or comic! To start you off, and drive you off simultaneously, here's a<br>quote from none other than our very own...Nny! Nny, you can get up now!"

Nny gives me a look that is often referred to as the "death stare".  
>"How? I'm still in a straightjacket!"<p>

"Oh, yeahhh..." I, the mighty Arlene, unfasten all the straightjackets  
>immediately after blocking all exits. "Nny, do your stuff."<p>

"Ahem...There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as  
>that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something<br>about it."

Giving an emotional sniff, I acknowledge the audience. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'll try to update it often, but not until I get reviews. I do not own anyone but myself, Fizz, and Con Man.  
>By the way, Con Man is not actually a solid form of my conscience. I<br>do, however, have a voice in my head I call the conman, who I believe  
>is my conscience, personified so that my stupid human brain can process<br>it. I do have a sock-stuffy, but he is merely a book character I  
>brought into the real world, not my conscience, and he is just called<br>the Sock Monster.

~Arlene, aka Arlie, Abilene, ArlieHasTheBrainWorms, actress22,  
>ihatewaluigi1 <p>


	2. The Second Doomy Chapter

**The Moosey Fate of Your Favorite IZ People, chapter 2**

**WARNING: HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS SPOILERS AHEAD. FOR BOTH THE BOOK AND MOVIE, THOUGH I SERIOUSLY HOPE YOU HAVE READ THE BOOK FIRST. I'LL GET PISSED IF YOU SEE THE MOVIE FIRST. AND I MEAN PISSED.**

All is quiet in my room. Zim has Dib against the wall at gunpoint, Red and Purple are screeching in pain and covering their burning eyes after seeing RAPR fanart (sorry, RAPR fans) GIR and Fizz are filling the room with Drooble's Best Blowing Gum bubbles and laughing hysterically, and Gaz, as usual, is playing her GameSlave.

Well, maybe the room isn't so quiet, but it was a whole lot quieter than when I came bursting through the door on Harry's Firebolt, wearing a custom made Hogwarts uniform with a Ravenclaw tie, and making a noise so high-pitched and ear-splitting it should be illegal, all while sobbing. "OH MY GOD, THAT WAS THE BEST MIDNIGHT PREMIERE EVER! B-BUT, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT'S _OVER_! My entire childhood is now over! NOOOOOOOO, NOT FRED, WHYYYY FRED!"

The cast, stone-faced, goes to their purple comfy armchairs, all except GIR who promptly skips over and cries with me.

I glare at everyone else. "You people suck! Well, not Zim...or Purple...or Nny...or Minimoose...but the rest of you are just terrible! No empathy at all!"

Sniffing profusely, the redheaded fangirl turns her head to the now broken-down door. "Well we have our first guest! Please welcome tdwtrulz1022!"

Tdwtrulz1022 enters, giving one unfortunate character his first dare! _"Torture-er, DARE time!"_ :3

_"DIBYKINZ!" she squeals."Go out on a date with my Dib-loving OC Gen! You have to make  
>out with her at the end. Oh, and sing either Dumb Love by Sean Kingston or Just The Girl by The Click Five to her!"<em>

Zim gives a little smirk. "_Dibykinz_?"

Oddly, Dib's chair is now occupied with a strange reddish creature. Wait, that IS Dib. He's blushing SO HARD. "W-what? I don't even KNOW her! And no WAY am I singing ANYTHING!"

"Too bad, _Dibykinz_," I say, snickering. "I don't know why any girl would want to date YOU, but I guess everyone has their own opinions. Now change. There's a tux in the closet."

"Wait-a _tux_? Isn't that a little overki-" I shove him-forcefully-into the closet before he can finish his sentence. Three minutes later, Dib emerges, looking, if I must say, slightly cute in his little tux.

Gen grasps Dib's hand and gives a small shriek of delight. "Come on, Dibykinz! I made reservations!"

Zim and I look at each other and burst into uncontrollable laughter. "DIBYKINZ!"

Well, since it'll take an hour or two for Dib to return, we'll use this time as an intermission. Take this time to use the bathroom or have a snack or whatever.

**If you like this story by ArlieHasTheBrainWorms, you might also like:**

**a pie in the face**

**eating dirt**

**smelling your own farts**

**People who have read this story have also used:**

**a bullwhip**

**an egg timer**

**a wig**

**Treat yourself:**

**a melted ice-cream cone**

**a sat-upon sandwich**

**a ton of bricks**

**A cupcake to whoever can guess that reference!**

Dib and Gen stumble back into my room, Gen looking very pleased and Dib covered in lipstick and looking very uncomfortable. (not sure if Gen wears lipstick...)

I grab GIR and I's popcorn and begin to omnomnom. "Okay, let the makeout session BEGIN!" I shout, laughing maniacly at Dib's sheer torture.

Dib jumps. "No! We already got that over with...it was...so awkward on my part..."

"Aww...well, you still have to sing "Just the Girl, 'cause that song I know."

She's cold and she's cruel  
>But she knows what she's doin'<br>She pushed me in the pool  
>At our last school reunion<br>She laughs at my dreams  
>But I dream about her laughter<br>Strange as it seems  
>She's the one I'm after<p>

_[Chorus:]_  
>'cause she's bittersweet<br>She knocks me off of my feet  
>And I can't help myself<br>I don't want anyone else  
>She's a mystery<br>She's too much for me  
>But I keep comin' back for more<br>She's just the girl I'm lookin' for

She can't keep a secret  
>For more than an hour<br>She runs on 100 proof attitude power  
>And the more she ignores me<br>The more I adore her  
>What can I do?<br>I'd do anything for her

_[Chorus]_

And when she sees it's me  
>On her caller ID<br>She won't pick up the phone  
>She'd rather be alone<br>But I can't give up just yet  
>Cause every word she's ever said<br>Is still ringin' in my head  
>Still ringin' in my head<p>

She's cold and she's cruel  
>But she knows what she's doin'<br>Knows just what to say  
>So my whole day is ruined<p>

_[Chorus]_

Cause she's bittersweet  
>She knocks me off of my feet<br>And I can't help myself  
>I don't want anyone else<br>She's a mystery  
>She's too much for me<br>But I keep comin' back for more  
>Oh, I keep comin' back for more<br>She's just the girl I'm lookin' for  
>Just the girl I'm lookin' for<p>

Just the girl  
>I'm lookin' for<br>She's just the girl I'm lookin' for  
>Just the girl<br>I'm lookin' for  
>Just the girl I'm lookin' for.<p>

Applause. I really do like that song.

Dib hides in the corner, whilst Zim laughs his ass off. Smirking and resisting the temptation to just grab Zim and shnuggle with him, I ask tdwtrulz1022 what the next question is. And immediately lose the half ounce of sanity I had left.

_"Ummm... Dress up like a girl and try to kiss Dib!"_

"..."

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

"SHHHHHRRRRRRRIIIIIIIEEEEEEKK!" I emit a ear-wrenching scream mixed in with an unearthly sound rapidly escaping Zim's lips, each of us running around in circles.

"I ALREADY LOST FRED AND TONKS AND REMUS AND MAD-EYE AND HEDWIG AND DOBBY, WHYYY MUST I LOSE MY ZIM TOO?"

"ZIM IS NOT GETTING NEAR YOUR FILTHY HYOOMAN FEMALE CLOTHING, NOR THE FIL-THY DIB-MONKEY OF _FILTH_!"

_Come on, Arlie. The sooner they get this over with, the better it will be for your mind's wellbeing. You're making a mess with all this running around._

Fizz, who has apparently proclaimed herself my psycologist, nodds. "I agree, dear meatchild."

Growl. "THANK YOU, Con Man!" I snap at the lumpy stuffed creature. Sigh, "Let's...get this over with." I give a disturbed shudder.

Zim gives a sad little whimper, then precedes to change into the wig and dress. Meanwhile, the Tallests are having a laughing fit over in their chairs. Which I soon confiscate for their rudeness.

"Firetruck you, assholes."

In approximately five minutes, Zim exits the closet sadly and approaches Dib, who, weirdly, didn't hear a thing of this torturous dare. He leans in-

"WOAH, who the heck are-wait-_ZIM_?"

A triumphant smile replaces the pained look previously on Zim's face.

"YES! The hyooman did not foolishly mistake Zim for a DISCUSTING hyooman female! VICTORY FOR ZIIIIIIM!"

I do a victory dance. "She said _try_, not to actually do it. Hurr. Oh, and sorry ZaDR, fans, but I don't like Yaoi. Especially when it's two enemies. No offense to all you Yaoi people out there."

"Next dare."

_"Gir- Kiss GAZ! On da lips! Andd here are some waffles! XD"_

GIR quickly pecks Gaz before she could even register what happened, then moves on to the waffles.

"I LIKE THE WAFFLES, GAZZY!"

Gaz simply returns to her GameSlave and gives GIR a look warning him not to do it again. GIR, of course doesn't understand what it means and gives Gaz a waffle-filled grin. I scoop up the adorable android and embrace him in a sticky hug. "You're so cute!

"Well, now for the questions."

Tdwtrulz1022 speaks! "_QUESTIONS!"_

_"Gaz- What game are you playing?"_

Gaz pauses her game-a rare sight-and answers,"Doughnut Massacre 64."

That's right people. It's a Smosh reference. 'Cause I'm awesome like that.

"NOOOOO, SAVE THE DOUGHNUTS!" (that was the Tallest)

_"Dib- Do you have a Girlfriend?"_

Dib blinks. "No."

"Simple answer is simple," I say. "Well, tdwtrulz1022 is done, I think, so, bye tdwtrulz1022! Bye, Gen! Okay, now on to THE Mad Hattress Of Horror. Long review is LONG. (That's a good thing)"

"Hi, everybody." She couldn't be here in person, I'm assuming, so she used a camera.

Suddenly, her little brother comes in room with a nosebleed._ "She never sleeps…..REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM! REDRUM!"_

" _O_O …..Um…W-Why don't you go to bed and I'll be there in a minute,Googi." _

Googi walks away creepily. _"She never sleeps….Toshio….Sleep….."_

If I was on deviantART, I probably would have typed :iconohshitplz:. "That was...disturbing..."

THE Mad Hattress Of Horror turns back to the camera. _"Um…this is one of those times your supposed to listen to the wild-eyed lunatic. Um…I'm gonna switch this review over to one of my many 'side people'. I have different people for different sides of my personality. Pretty creepy. So…Sani Sukai Su will take over this one. She's Japanese and…yeah!"_ She runs into the other room with scary-looking knives.

I look at Nny warningly. "No stealing."

"I have plenty of knives already. I'm not a theif."

Sani comes out. She has a short deep purple frilly dress on with knee-long lightening-shaped black pigtails and a real fox tail and ears. She has black combat boots with black and white tights. Her eye's are covered with black sunglasses. WOO! _"Uh…K-Konnichiwa…um…." She notices people looking at her weirdly cause of her tail and ears. "Please don't look at me like that. I'm very self conscious about my…unwanted accessories…"_ She's totally shy.

Dib shouts,"She's a mutant! Look at her ears and tai-"

I cover his mouth and give him the evil eye. "Are you aware of how incredibly rude that is?"

GIR points and giggles. "Oooooh, she's purty foxxeh girl!"

Dib looks at me. "Hey, he pointed!"

"So?"

"So that's not rude?"

"Not if it's GIR."

"Biased."

"Bighead."

"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!"

"Shh, yes it is. But let our guest speak."

_"Zim: Um…Laser Nunchuks?" Sani holds out Nunchucks that shoot lasers from the  
>ends.<em>

"YES! VICTORY FOR ZIM!"

"Zim, get off Purple's head. We have dares to act on. Questions to answer."

_"And would you please allow me to draw you to add to my collection of art? You are an alien after all and would make a nice addition to my art…."_

Zim thinks. (Oh, and BY THE WAY people, Zim is not stupid. Would YOU have been able to do what he does? No. He just doesn't really think things through.)

"Well, I suppose the FILTHY HYOO-MAN's alter-ego could draw the almighty Zim for her "collection of art"...Zim IS wonderful after all."

I momentarily pause in sipping my Cherry Brainfreezy of which Nny is so jealous of and respond,"Yes, Zim. Yes you are."

_"Gir: Sing Po Pi Po by Vocaloid? I love Vocaloid…."_

"ME TOO! I LOVE TRIPLE BAKA!"

Po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-popii<p>

saa nome omae suki daro? Yasai juusu  
>watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta<br>dakara nonde watashi no yasai juusu  
>kakaku wa nihyaku en<p>

soiya soiya  
>dossee dossee<br>soiya soiya  
>dossee dossee<p>

maroyaka yasai juusu  
>fuwa fuwa yasai juusu<br>ichiban osusume na no wa midori no juusu

po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>bejitaburu na  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>seimei afureta<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>anata mo ima

"YAY, I don't know what I just said!"

THE Mad Hattress of Horror holds out a hamster_. "Take care of Ham Ham for me to I guess." _She sings along to Po Pi Po silently.

"AWWWWWWW" (That was GIR and me)

Zim screams "AUGH!"

"Oh yeah...PeePee...ULTRA PEEPEE."

_"Gaz: I like your outfit. Um…" She notices game. "Game Slave." She holds out Action Replay. "I made it. It has all the codes ever created to dorei Gamu.(GameSlave in Japanese)_

"Sweeeeet..."

_"I'm not much of a video game person."_ She gives it to her_. "How about you go inside your game and be Zimetharu and fight off all the Demon Fire-Wielding Piggies? (Zimetharu is the name of the guy in the game)"_

O.O "That would be EPIC!"

Gaz opens her eyes. "And how exactly do I-"

"LIKE THIS!" I whip out my eleven inch elm and phoenix feather wand and say,"PORTALIO VENATIUS!" She is now sucked into the game, MUAHAHAHAHA. Wait...that was supposed to happen...dammit. I fail at evil.

_"Dib: W-would you please see my artwork and tell me if it's right? I'm a Para-artist. I made up the name."_ She blushes_ "I draw m-mystical, supernatural, and paranormal things . I heard Sky talk about you a lot and what y-you do and I thought It'd be nice f-for… yeah. You understand._ She blushes harder and shakily holds out a huge sketchbook that's full of highly detailed drawings.

Dib reaches his hand through the camera screen (Don't you tell me that's not possible-I have a_ wand_, betch, remember?) and pulls out the sketchbook nearly as big as his gargantuan head, then flips through it. "Dang, this chupacabra is _really _detailed."

"Lemme see! Hey, so's this UFO." Johnny said. He's angry at me today because it's Tuesday night and I didn't let him go UFO searching...

"Wait..was that Cerberus? Oh my god, it was! I heart Greek Mythology!" I holler excitedly. "Stupid Romans. They copied the Greeks."

_"Host: How about everyone eats at least 3 Bertie Bott's Every Flavored Beans? My favorite is the Tutti Frutti…."_

An expression crosses my face only describable as thrilled "Oh, YES! Wait, are you talking about the manufactured, Muggle kind or the actual candy from the series? Ah, nevermind, I just assuming you mean the legitimate kind from the books. Hmm...we're gonna need more than one box. _Geminio!_"

I stare at my wand. "So, I can acually do spells, hell yeah!" I conjure mounds of snacks for Purple! Yay! But shit, Now Red's coming over, he thinks he can share, that idiot! "NO, NO, NO! Not for you, you goddamn defective! _Aguamenti!_"

"AAAAAAUUUUUUUUUGGGHHHH! The water! IT BURNS!"

"Hehe...I love defying the laws of physics or whatever."

I didn't feel like thinking of twenty ways to say basicly the same thing, so here's a list of what some people got.

Zim- Bacon, Soap, Earthworm

GIR-Chocolate, Bubble Gum, Waffle

Gaz- Pizza, Pig, Tutti Frutti

Dib- Troll Bogey, Vomit, Tripe

Red- Sausage, Roast Beef, Bacon

Dark Bootie- CYANIDE, WINDEX, DEATH

Purple-Doughnut, Toffee, Gravy

Iggins-Grape Jelly, Onion, Pepper

Prof. Membrane-Toast, Toast, Science!

Nny- Cherry, Taco, Peach

Tak- Hot Dog, Mustard, SPACE MEAT.

Fizz- Ink, chocolate syrup, popcorn

Me- I ate too many to put on here.

Sani walks up to Nny and smiles a little. _"I've heard a lot about you, Johnathan_."

"Wait, Johnathan? Is that your real name, Nny?"

"I can't say-I hardly remember my old life. I believe you are aware of this."

"_I would like for you to attempt to cut me. I can bandage it later, but I would love to see what you can do. Mind that since I was 2 I have been trained to be a Ninja/Samurai by my family. That means I've had about 11 years of brutal training and have been to war more than once"_

[See, I would insert a Nnyish quote here, but I think it would count as blasphemy against the god of comics and cartoons, Jhonen, to try and imitate his writing style in this kind of story]

_"Please start when you-"_ The original writer comes back.

"Oh, crap."

"Brace yourselves, all caps rage ahead."

"_S-SANI? ARE YOU TALKIN TO JOHNNY? YOU GEDDOF THERE! YOU ARE NOT YET WORTHY OF NNY! IT'S NOT FAIR! I UNDERSTAND JOHNNY'S WAY OF THINKING AND SHIT ABOUT 9 TIMES BETTER THAN YOU EVER WOULD! HAVE YOU EVEN HEARD OF HIM  
>BEFORE?"<em>

Sani blushes a little. "_Um...I...No."_

Sky says_,"Precisley the point. heh. point_."

"Hehe, that was punny."

"_YOU CAN HAVE YOUR LITTLE BOYFRIEND DIB TO PLAY WITH. JOHNNY IS THE ONE I CONVERSE WITH! I swear with how often and  
>vivid you blush it seems like I could poke your cheek and blood would spurt everywhere."<em> She looks dreamily away, imagining it.

Sani blushes madly. _"BOYFRIEND? DIB-SEKUSHI IS N-"_ She goes wide eyed at what she said and puts head in hands in embarrassment. Sky says_,"Exactly, Sani. You can't deny it. Now enough emotions. Such a petty thing."_ SHe finally took over.

Dib, meanwhile, is looking very, very umcomfortable with this whole conversation. Nny is simply confused and twirling a knife absentmindedly.

I nonchalantly sip a butterbeer in the corner. "Zim is the one I converse with."

"_Sorry bout that. Since she Sani already did most of this; I guess I can finish with Johnny. -_-I wanted to make bloody things happen. WAIT! I CAN! _She grins insanely and holds out that hell raiser puzzle box_. (for all those preppy viewers out there, I'm not INSANE, I'm misunderstood.)_

"I am both. So's Nny."

"..."

"It's the truth."

_"I was able to convince Pinhead and all those other Hellraiser characters to let you have their jobs. This meaning you have the power of the undead, hell, and earth do what you wish."_

"Damn, you're a lucky guy, Nny." I say.

"Shut up." Johnny responds. "There's more to it, I think."

_"1 condition: You can only kill the FANGIRLS."_

"WHAT? I don't wanna die!" I cry.

She looks disgustingly at the door that is labeled and horridly scratched Yaoi-Infested Fangirl Room BEWARE_._

"Oh, so it's just the YAOI fangirls. I can't say I want ALL of them to die, so we're going to change that and add OVERLY OBSESSIVE in front." I say, relieved. "Those people who get so defensive when anyone disagrees with their favorite pairing just pisses me off." (BY THE WAY, I'm not a homophobe and I don't hate gay people. I fully support gay rights. I just don't like Yaoi. Just thought I'd make that clear.)

Red, being the idiot asshole he is, tries an experiment. "I hate all canon pairings." He whispers.

"AUGH! ALL I SHIP IS CANON! YOU DEFECT! GO DIE IN A HOLE!" I promptly bury Red alive, but as soon as he gets a dare I'll have to resurrect him.

Dib is a little shocked. "Geez, someone's a little hypocritical..."

Fast as a Firebolt, I poke him in between the eyes with my wand. "I am fully aware of my hypocrisy-ness, Dibstink!" I growl. "And you may want to be a little more careful what you say around me, Muggle, because I, unlike you, am nearly in my fourth year and know a fair amount of highly uncomfortable and/or itchy hexes. And you, unlike me, are a git."

Dib cowers in fear.

I glance back at the camera. "THE Mad Hattress of Horror, please continue."

_After you have your share of bloodshed, I would like to give you…a gift if you will. I read on your Twitter that you despised drugs but if they had one that was filled with adorable puppies then you'd be a druggie. Good news, Nny. I created such a drug. *dangles pill tauntingly*_

"That is...evil. And I adore you for it, though I prefer cats over dogs, I will most likely be addicted within the next week." I say.

_Create vivid acts of immortal bloodshed and you can have it. NOW. Oh, and that's it for me._

Nny enters the room and, as asked, creates vivid acts of immortal bloodshed. He exits in less than forty five seconds, beat up a bit from the rabid fangirl attacks, but otherwise alright. "So...much...glomping...O_O"

"You killed the glompers, right Nny?"

"Of course. Gimme drug!"

I give him the drug.

"So, that's it for now. Bye, peoples! See ya!"

_Tell them to wipe their feet when they come in next time. It was very dirty last time._

"Shut UP, Con Man."

**So, yeah, there were only two reviews this chapter, but it was still pretty long, doncha think? REVIEW PLEASE! Well, bye, I'm gonna go play Gobstones.**


	3. The Third Doomy Chapter

**The Moosey Fate of Your Favorite IZ People, Chapter 3**

**NOTICE: DUE TO AN AMAZING PLAY I RECENTLY SAW, THROUGHOUT THIS CHAPTER, THERE ARE MULTIPLE SONG LYRICS FROM THAT PLAY. DON'T TRY TO UNDERSTAND IT. I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO. IT'S NOT A VERY **

**WELL-KNOWN PLAY.**

The cast is in my room once more, aggravated at their captivity still.

Suddenly, a deafening crash is heard from outside and I casually stroll into the room, just back from seeing the play "Big River" for the third time this week.

"I, Huckleberry, me, do hereby declare myself to be nothing, ever, other than exactly what I am!" I sing, covering one of my favorite songs from the musical.

Suddenly, I pounce on Dib's enormous head and scream in his ear,"HOW 'BOUT A HAND FOR THE HOG!" Dib lets out a pained yell while GIR shrieks/laughs hysterically, clapping his hands, and then sings with me, this time a sweet, slow, sorrowful song.

"And it all might be a lesson, for the hasty heart to know...maybe leavin's not the only way to go..." Tears run down my cheeks and I sob in the corner. "I-I'm never going to see a play like that again...it was better than Broadway. I'm serious. And what if the play is banned from theatres, just like the book (The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn) has been banned from libraries? WHAT IF THE PLAY BECOMES ABRIDGED LIKE THE BOOK? Nuuuuuuu!"

I'm so busy wallowing in my own misery that I don't even realize the cast is grouping together, like they're plotting something.

"Maybe if she keeps being miserable she won't dare us..."

"If we go and pretend to cry too, she might forget once and for all that we're supposed to be doing humiliating stuff..."

The cast, being their EVIL AND HEARTLESS SELVES, fake their pity and "cry" with me, triggering my suspicion. "Hey...you're all really OOC right now...OH! DARES, RIGHT! Thanks for reminding me, guys." The cast solemnly return to their chairs and begin tearing up for real.

Okay, first is _tdwtrulz1022_ again! And her Dib-loving OC Gen. Welcome, tdwtrulz!"

_"Oh YEAH! Dib will always be mine! RAWR!"_ She says, a slightly crazy glint in her eyes.

Dib looks like this ._."

"_Hehe, you're cuuute! I LOVE YOU! Anyways, read all of the ZaDr on fanfiction, then tell us your opinion...sitting next to Gen! Then, sing ET by Katy Perry to Zim! (Perf song)" She says._

I burst into tears. "NOT THE ZADR! Wait, it's Dib, not Zim we're torturing? Oh, okay then." I open , go to the Invader Zim category, choose "Romance" as the genre and Zim and Dib as the main characters. I then shove the laptop in Dib's face, duct taping him to the chair and leaving just one arm free so he can scroll down and select new fics. "Here, everybody. Take this candle wax and work it into your ears-or antennae, for that matter. It'll block out the screaming."

Seventy two hours later, Dib is white as a ghost and unconscious. I pull out the earplugs and inspect how far he got. "Huh...he only got to No. 604 out of 639, _Believe_. Um, must we wake him up? I like him unconscious."

Tdwtrulz1022 raises her eyebrows. "He still has to sing E.T."

"FIIIIINE." I yell in Dib's ear, causing him to holler in pain once more."WAKE UP, YOU LAZY BASTARD, WAKE UP!"

"OW! What do you want? No way I am reading more of this...HORROR!"

I roll my eyes. "No, I think six hundred and four yaoi stories are enough. I'd probably react just as badly if I was put in a Yuri fanfic. Well, maybe not. For some reason, I don't find yuri as bad as yaoi, though it might be different if I was part of the pairing-"

"AHEM!"

"Oh, sorry, Tdwtrulz1022! You have to sing E.T. to Zim. Remember?"

"OH-[THIS PART WAS CENSORED DUE TO SO MUCH SWEARING IT WAS OBSCENE. NOW THAT I THINK OF IT, DIB IS REALLY GOOD AT CUSSING. I'LL HAVE TO WRITE THESE WORDS DOWN. BUT WHAT'S A HOBKNOCKER? *LOOKS IT UP* OH, DIB, THAT'S DISCUSTING! HOW OLD ARE YOU? HOW DO YOU EVEN KNOW THESE-OH, RIGHT, BACK TO THE QUESTIONS! BUT SERIOUSLY, DO NOT LOOK UP HOBKNOCKER. IT'S FUCKIN' DISCUSTING.]

Dib stops, taking a deep breath and preparing to start again, before I clap my hand over his mouth. "Oh, no you don't." I scold working the wax back into my ears so as not to hear a ZaDR love song. "It was DARED AND SO IT MUST BE DONE."

"Why are you shouting?"

"WHAT?"

"*sigh* Never mind."

You're so hypnotizing  
>could u be the devil, could you be an angel<br>your touch magnetizing  
>feels like going floating, leave my body glowing<p>

They say be afraid  
>you're not like the others, futuristic lovers<br>different DNA, they dont understand u

You're from a whole other/another world  
>a different dimention<br>you open my eyes  
>and im ready to go, lead me into the light<p>

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
>infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison<br>take me, t-t-take me  
>wanna be your victim, ready for abduction<br>boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
>its supernatural, extraterrestrial<p>

You're so supersonic  
>wanna feel your powers, stumb me with your lasers<br>your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic

You're from a whole other/another world  
>a different dimension<br>you open my eyes  
>and im ready to go, lead me into the light<p>

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
>infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison<br>take me, t-t-take me  
>wanna be your victim, ready for abduction<br>boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
>its supernatural, extraterrestrial<p>

There is this transcendental, on another level  
>boy, you're my lucky star<br>i wanna walk on your wave length  
>and be there when you vibrate<br>for you i risk it all

all

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me  
>infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison<br>take me, t-t-take me  
>wanna be your victim, ready for abduction<br>boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
>its supernatural, extraterrestrial<p>

Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away  
>its supernatural, extraterrestrial<p>

(No applause.)

I take the wax out of my ears. "Is it over?"

"Thank Irk." Zim gasps, eyes twitching.

"Okey dokey. What's the next Q or D?"

_"Zim- Enjoy being a girl :D? Sing the Duck song!"_

Zim gives an unearthly growl. "No, Zim did not! And what is this Duck Song?"

I show Zim the wonderfulness that is the Duck Song.

"Zim will not sing that."

"Yuh-huh! And I get to be the lemonade seller!"

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand  
>and he said to the man running the stand<br>Hey. got any grapes?

The man said no we just sell lemonade. It's cold and its fresh and it's all home made. Can I sell you glass? The duck said "I'll pass".  
>Then he waddled away. Till the very next day.<p>

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand  
>And he said to the man that was running the stand<br>Hey. You got any grapes?

The man said no, like I said yesterday, we just sell lemonade okay?  
>Why not give it a try? The duck said Goodbye.<br>Then he waddled away. He waddled away. He waddled away  
>Till the very next day.<p>

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand  
>And he said to the man that was running the stand<br>Hey. You got any grapes?

The man said look, this is getting old. Lemonade's all we've ever sold. Why not give it a go? The duck said "No."  
>Then he waddled away. He waddled away. He waddled away<br>Till the very next day.

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand  
>And he said to the man that was running the stand<br>Hey. You got any grapes?

The man said THAT'S IT! If you don't stay away, duck, I'll glue you to a tree and leave you there all day, stuck.  
>So don't get to close! The duck said Adios.<br>Then he waddled away. He waddled away. He waddled away  
>Till the very next day.<p>

When the duck walked up to the lemonade stand  
>And he said to the man that was running the stand<br>Hey. You got any glue?

What?

You got any glue?  
>No, why would I– Oh!<p>

Then one more question for you:  
>Got any grapes?<p>

And the man just stopped. Then he started to smile. Then he started to laugh. He laughed for a while.  
>Then he said, "Come on duck, let's walk to the store. I'll buy you some grapes so you won't have to ask anymore."<p>

So they walked to the store and the man bought some grapes. He offered one to the duck and the duck said "Eh, no thanks".

"But you know what sounds good? It would make my day.  
>Do you think this store, do you think this store, do you think this store… has any… lemonade?"<p>

Then he waddled away. He waddled away. He waddled away.

I start bouncing off the walls, saying, "THAT WAS FUUUUUUN! IMMA SING NOW! SHE'S GOT ONE BIG BREAST IN THE MIDDLE OF HER CHEST AND AN EYE IN THE MIDDLE OF HER NOSE! SO SAYS I, IF YOU LOOK 'ER IN THE EYE, YOU'D BE BETTER OFF LOOKIN' UP HER NOSE!"

_"What!" _

"It's a song from Big River. The Royal Nonesuch."

"You do realize none of them will have any idea what you're talking about, right?" Purple says skeptically.

"...Yes." :( "By what means of doom should we torture them next?"

_"Gaz- ...Read DaGr! (That's Dib and Gaz btw!)" _

I shrink back into the shadows. "I know what DaGR is...and it's totally messed up. I don't care if you like it. It's fuckin' disgusting. Flames will be donated to Hell, or shall be used to burn Red into a tender crisp."

The Tallests flinch. "Your way of describing your...actions...are very...disturbing."

"Not as disturbing as DaGR. And you want disturbing, go read RaPR."

"We already did, remember? Our ocular implants melted."

"Oh yeah...that was memorable. Anywho, Gaz, PLEASE don't kill us for this. PLEASE?"

Gaz grunts and goes to the computer, reading DaGR completely stone-faced. I wave my hand directly in front of her face after a few minutes, and realize that it doesn't even move. She's gone into shock.

"Holy shit...this is really weird for a character like Gaz. Totally OOC. Maybe we'll just leave her like that 'till she gets a dare, she does really creep me out after all. Unlike Tak. YOU DON'T SCARE ME, TAK!"

"I should. And you're getting quite off-topic here."

"...right." I wave my wand and say an incantation so that Gaz won't wake up without me saying so. "Stupefy. Well, now for tdwtrulz1022's questions!"

Tdwtrulz1022 has to brainstorm for a moment. She soon conjures a question for none other than the Almighty Tallests. _"Why are you both such assholes?"_

"Hey!" Tallests yelp.

"Well, it's kinda true," I say nonchalantly. "I love you, Purple, and hate you, Red, but really, you're complete dickheads. You scare littler Irkens shitless because they're constantly afraid of being launched through the airlock-"

"It's funny!"

"-and when you lost a bet you shot the service drone who won out of the airlock so you wouldn't have to pay the monies to him. Basically, being taller than the others has caused you to have very overly swollen, arrogant heads."

The Tallests huff angrily. "You pretty much just answered _our _question." Red leers.

"GASP! I did, didn't I? Oh, well. Uh, next question!"

"_Gir- Rainbows_?"

GIR, who had been in the middle of dipping a live fish in a mixture of pickle juice and caviar, smiles and replies,"Only if dere is poptart kitteees attached! WEEEEE, sing with me, Mini!"

Minimoose chants along with GIR,"NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN NYAN-"

"MINIMOOSE!"

"Nyeh?"

"This is no time for your views on human religion!"

"Nyeh nyeh nya nyeh!"

"I completely agree, Minimoose, but we should really get back to the questions."

"Ny-nyeeehhhh..."

"Don't you take that tone with me!"

"Nyah nya."

"Oh, you did NOT just say that to me!"

"Nyeh nya nyan nya."

"You little shit! I'll deal with you later. Tdwtrulz1022, I apologize. Carry on."

Tdwtrulz1022 giggles and blushes. "_Dib- Do you want a girlfriend_ ;)"

Elbowing Dib teasingly, I taunt,"Oooooh, a flirty wink emoticon. You gonna answer, _Dibykinz?_"

Dib pushes me away-the NERVE of him!-and turns bright red. "Um...well, if there are people out there who actually like me and don't think I'm insane, that's great, but, um, a GIRLFRIEND...can we come back to this question, Arlene? Please?"

Exasperated sigh."Okay, okay. And until Dib answers your question, you can share seats with him, tdwturlz1022. Knock yourself out."

Tdwtrulz1022 plops down on the extra room in Dib's armchair. She bats her eyes flirtily.

I smirk at Dib's obvious uncomfortable-ness. "Well, next is TheAlmightyBlueHyena."

_She flies in on a Hungarian Horntail_.

"HOLY SHIT! YOU CRAZY, WOMAN?" I duck from the blast of flame spewing from the Horntail's mouth.

_"YEEEAAAHHH! A FELLOW POTTAH FANGIRL!" She screeches, falling to her knees and sobbing. "WHY FRED! HE WUZ MAH FAVORITEDEST ONE!..." She continues sobbing._

Tears well up in my eyes and I abruptly start crying as well. "WAAAAAH! FRED WASN'T MY FAVORITEST, BUT HE WAS STILL SOOOOOO GREAT AND WHYYYY MUST HE BE GONE! POOR GEORGE! WHEN THE SUN GOES DOWN IN THE SOUTH, AND THE MOON COMES UP IN THE EAST, YOU WOULDN'T IMAGINE THE MENAGERIE AIR, CREATED BY A COUPLE A' GUYS!" (For those of you who don't know, which is most likely all of you, that was part of a Big River song.)

TheAlmightyBlueHyena gets up. "_Anywho, the Tallests must let Zim pilot the Massive to wherever the Hell he wants. For the entire fic."_

Tallests: D:

"I AM ZIIIIIM!"

I shout joyfully. "Good thing I brought the Massive!"

"You _what_?" The crowd leaves the house and sees the source of the racket at the beginning of the chapter. The Massive is right in my front yard, landed badly and banged up in places.

"WHOO! ZIM, GET THE CONTROLS!"

Zim, driven by his mass excitement, sprints to the controls and shoves the original pilot away before everyone is even outside yet.

When each individual is in the Massive, with protective headgear on in case Zim completely screws up, the dares continue.

TheAlmightyBlueHyena turns to Dib. "_Here, have my strange little bro. He looks up to you, for some strange reason_." Bro appears and hugs Dib and WILL NOT LET GO.

I glance at Dib indignantly. "That's...nice?"

The child is clinging onto Dib's ankle like some sort of leech. Tdwtrulz1022 leers down at him, no doubt pissed that she now has competition for Dib's attention.

TheAlmightyBlueHyena grins, mildly apologetic. "_Yeaaahhh...so he's probl'y gonna stay like that for a while...Moving on...Zim, why the hell are you wearin' a dress?"_

Zim and I's eyes both flash with aggravation and anger as we scream, "IT'S NOT A DRESS, IT'S THE UNIFORM OF AN ALMIGHTY IRKEN INVADER!"

I add, "You want a dress, look at the Tallest! They wear pretty skirts!"

"For the last time, they're not skirts!" Red cries. Without hesitation, I whip my wand back out and splash Red with a spurt of water, purely for my enjoyment as he cries out in tremendous pain.

Purple stares wide-eyed at his co-Tallest rolling on the floor, all dignity forgotten. "Why did you do that? Huh?"

I shrug. "For fun."

"_SCREEEHEHEHE...Oh yeah, and now, as a reward for the hosts good taste in reading, EVERYBODY GETS TO GO TO HARRY POTTER LAND WITH ME IN FLORIDA! =B_"

I give a joyful shout of...joy! "HELL YES! Zim, at the end of this chapter, TURN THIS BITCH AROUND AND LAND IN FLORIDA!"

Zim grumbles. "Fine. but ZIM will do it because he WISHES TO, not because some FILTHY HYOOMAN commanded him so!"

Can you guess what I did next? That's right. I glomped him. "I love how arrogant you are. It's adorable."

"GET YOUR FILTHY MEAT-HANDS OFF OF ZIM'S SUPERIOR SKIN!"

"NUUUUUUU! MAH ZIMMEH!" Zim throws me off, accidentally brush one of the control buttons on the Massive, causing us to hit...turbulence? Can you hit turbulence in space? Anyway, we're all thrown upward, VERY thankful for out helmets.

_"Oh, and one last thing..." She glomps Lard Nar and GIR. "I will always luv you ^-^" She B-slaps the Tallests and SEN WITH A SALMON. She turns around grinning creepily._

Hurrah! Another SEN hater! (If you're wonderin' why I hate them so much, it's 'cause of an AMAZING fanfic I read. In case you're interested, it's "What Will Be, Will Be, by Cryssy-Miu. Thanks soooo much to pokekinz0520 for introducing me to that fic in HER questionnaire.) Anyways, back to teh reviews.

_"I like salmon...they taste good, and if you see your boyfriend another table down with some other girl, then revenge is INSTANT. Bah bah now." She gets back on zee Hungarian Horntail of DOOM and flies away._

I smile-for once, it DOESN'T look all that insane-and say,"I always like meeting another HP fangirl." We hit more "turbulence"."ZIM! Be careful!"

"DO NOT TELL ZIM WHAT TO DO!"

Sigh."Next person. THE Mad Hattress Of Horror."

_Magical door of wonder appears and Sanii and Rain are walking in and arguing…kinda._

_Sanii is talking to Rain. House elves aren't called that, they are called Brownies; and have better clothing. _

"Grrr..."

_"Dragons were pretty precise; but the colorings were wrong for the Horntail and the Common Welsh didn't even have yellow eye's like EVERY SINGLE ONE does."_

"Yeah, the colorings were wrong for the Horntail, but not in the book!"

_"Dementors not only were animated kinda badly; but also their clothing was wrong and have a different name that I don't remember."_

"ACTUALLY, dementors were purely J.K. Rowling's creation, SANI."

_"...They don't have black strips; they have rags that flow in the wind and not hover around. Ghosts are a bit more transparent than what they showed. and they don't appear completely in the light."_

"GRRRRRR..."

_"Wands don't choose you, you must create your own wand to seal a bond with it and transfer energy."_

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" (Strong urge to strangle)

_"Spells don't work like they show it."_

I am steaming, red with anger. The cast is looking at me nervously, save for Zim, who is busy with his controls.

_"Flying Brooms aren't real; they are an old tale because villagers saw witches jumping around in corn fields with brooms and pitch forks because they were high_-"

Rain and I lose it at exactly the same time.

_Rain screams, "HARRY POTTER IS THE BEST THING TO EVER COME SINCE I SAW DAVID HASSLEHOFF TURN INTO A JET AND FLY AWAY LEAVING A MAGIC RAINBOW TRAIL BEHIND! WITH NYAN CAT!"_

While I yell a similar rant, but with more cussing and name-calling.

_Rain calms down. "Well now that all happiness has drained from me once more; I will go on with the reviews I suppose. Zim: Go wallow around in a vat of buttery popcorn for 4 minutes and then let Gir and Minimoose lick you clean."_

Hehe.

I smirk. "Zim, temporarily give the other Irken the controls back and do it."

"YAAAAAAY, MASTAH AND ME GONNA HAVE A LICKY PARTY!"

Zim mutters threats under his breath that I know he'll never act on, and gets up. Somehow, the popcorn vat was already there, waiting for Zim to bathe in it. You know what happens next.

**Four minutes later**

Zim is scowling in a corner, the entire cast laughing their asses off. "This is humiliating..."

I've finally had enough of this entertainment. "OK, GIR, Minimoose, that's enough. Leave Master alone. Zim, you can return to the controls."

"Awwww..."

"Nyeh..."

_"Gir: Go to Jack Skellington's world and replace Zero the red blinky nose ghost dog."_

I laugh. "I haven't seen that movie in a while, but I agree it would be funny." I poof GIR away. "We'll bring him back later."

_"Gaz: ….Eh. Go hug Bloaty the Pizza Hog until you throw up from disgust_."

"Awww...I guess I better un-Stupify her."

After waking up Gaz, I tell her what she must do and glares at THE Mad Hattress. Let's just say, if looks could kill...

"You people are disgusting." I poof Gaz away with my wand and hack into the security camera at Bloaty's. No one laughs, because we know what Gaz will do if we laugh. And it won't be pretty.

When I take Gaz back to the Massive, she just glares and goes back to her GameSlave.

_Rain looks angrily over at Sanii, who is finishing up an Icee. "Dib. You will go out with Sanii tonight at the late-night movies to watch The Haunting In Connecticut."_

_Sanii and Dib both sputter and go beet red. "WHAT?"_

_"YOU RUINED MY MOOD! I BARELY EVER GET HAPPY ANYMORE AND THAT MOVIE DID UNTIL YOU STARTED CRITICIZING IT!"_

_"B-BUT YOU'RE THE ONE WHO ASKED ME WHAT I TRULY THOUGHT OF IT AND I TOLD YOU! I SAID I LIKED THE MOVIE BUT THE CREATURES AND STUFF WERE WRONG!"_

I glare at Sanii. "Well, SANII, Muggles simply got a lot of that stuff wrong. What YOU thought was correct was actually just what Muggles changed to make things seem more realistic or impressive."

_Rain: Well consider this revenge for your 'unintentional' judgment. You could have at least attempted to make a happy remark to seal in my good day. Now go. Your movie starts in 18 minutes_.

Sanii is humiliated and walks over to Dib. "I guess we sh-should go…."

Dib, slowly inching over to the portal back to Earth, mouths "HELP ME!"

Tdwtrulz1022 is SEETHING, eyes twitching with undying envy.

_Rain watches them leave. "I don't usually interfere with the affairs of love, but in one way or another; I WILL get revenge. I couldn't kill her. She is a part of me anyways."_

_Host: Here's a cupcake with Pepper Spray. Knock yourself out._

I thoroughly examine the cupcake. "How intriguing...oh, and you can call me Arlene, by the way. Or Arlie."

"_Nny: I don't know if you are aware of this crisis at hand. I completely understand your thoughts on JIMMY. I too have had someone like Jimmy but it was female and she tried to kill my animals so that it would be just me and her working together. She had to be disposed of. Although my battle is done, yours is not quite. Fangirls are pairing you and Jimmy and making you do….HORRIBLE things. Such things that my eye's are going to bleed any moment from thinking of you and Jimmy as just FRIENDS. Please, for the love of Doritos, take this laser/flamethrower/dagger-shooting instrument and MURDER ALL JIMMY+JOHNNY FANS!" She holds out a Wii remote and almonds fall from behind her* (The Wii is all she said. And a Wii remote.)_

I shiver. "That pairing...as messed up as DaGr."

Meanwhile, Nny has snatched up the Wiimote (That's what I like to call them.) and is not necessarily using his 'inside voice.' "WHY THE HELL DO THEY PAIR ME WITH HIM? I KILLED THAT FUCK! FUCKIN' RIPPED OPEN HIS CHEST WITH HOOKS!"

"And smashed in his skull with a mallet," I add.

"EXACTLY!" Nny storms into the portal and kills Nny/Mmy fans so brutally that we can hear the screams in the Massive.

_"I will simply sit here and watch the bloody and torturous fun until Sanii returns." She sits down near a wall where she can watch everyone and watches quietly yet creepily as people converse and stare at the insane demon-angel-thing that is staring…INTO THEIR SOOOOOUUUULSSS_.

CAST: O_o

I giggle eerily. "Into their souls? HA! You can't stare into mine! 'Cause I'm a GINGER! And I have no soul! There is one more review. It's pretty short, but that's okay! Hehe. It's from pickleabanana."

_Her OC shows up. "Hello I am Invader Miz, sis of Zim and I HATE DIB!" She slaps Dib and turns into a tiger._

"OW!"

I do a victory dance. "She slapped Dib! VICTORY! Wait…when did you and Sanii get back?"

Dib, pouting and ignoring my question, asks, "Why do you hate me so much?"

I reply, not bothering to look at him, "I don't hate you. I just don't like you too much. Something about a kid your age wishing to rip out another living creature's organs on an autopsy table seems just…WRONG."

Meanwhile, Zim has abandoned the controls and is very, VERY confused. "Irkens don't have siblings! They are cloned in tubes!"

I roll my eyes. "It's fanfiction. Calm down. AND GET BACK TO THE CONTROLS BEFORE YOU KILL US ALL!"

"_I dare you to be locked in a room with me as a tiger! Bwahahaha!"_

Evil grin. Before Dib can even feel dread, I shove him and Miz into the Room of Requirement,(don't ask how it found its way into the Massive) and hear gruesome amounts of shrieks, while tdwtrulz1022 pounds on the door, hysterical.

I cross my arms and wait for it to be over, then I MAGICALLY heal Dib's wounds. "Well, that's the last of the reviews! And we forgot the quote to end the chappy last time! Oh NUUUUU! Well, I will conjure Huckleberry Finn, so that he can quote himself."

I do just that. "HIT IT, HUCK!" I do an epic dance before pointing at him(epically)

"That's just the way it is with some people. They get down on a thing when they don't know nothin' about it."

I giggle again. "So true. Now, Zim, take us to FLORIDA! HP world, here we come!"

When we land at Universal Studios-probably crushing a few people in the process, I realize something.

"Hey...Conman wasn't even HERE this chapter! Maybe he's gone FOREVER! Huzzah!"

_What did I miss?_

"FUCK!"

**I'm done now. R&R, please! Sorry this took so long...no motivation. Bleargh. And BY THE WAY, I'm writing a new story, called Instant Karma! You should check it out! Right now! I neeeeeeeeed reviews! And sorry this chapter is so badly written. I wasn't in the mood to write, but knew that I should update this.**

**Arlene out!**

**I do not own anything but Conman.**


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